


The Truth is in HERE

by Annie46fic



Series: Alien!Crack [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alien Abduction, Aliens, Alternate Universe - Crack, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Other, Tentacles, alien!jensen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 14:17:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/850526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annie46fic/pseuds/Annie46fic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared and Jensen have the best ‘How we met’ story ever</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Truth is in HERE

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Alien Abduction square on my hc_bingo card

The first time Jared meets Jensen, Jared is strapped to a huge metal table with what looks like a very painful probe, being aimed at a very delicate part of Jared’s anatomy.

Of course Jensen isn’t called Jensen then. He is going by his given name which is J’ensennasenna or something equally as unpronounceable and he is seven foot tall with six tentacle appendages instead of arms and a gross looking slimy tail thing rather than legs. It is not a good look.

Jared hadn’t gone out that evening with any intention of actually meeting someone. He was suffering from a very bad break up and was determined to get thoroughly wasted at his favorite bar. He had only stopped for a minute to admire what looked like a shooting star when something almost blindingly bright had exploded over head and, all at once, he found himself being sucked into the light.

It was terrifying; there was no other word for it, painful too. The aliens (because that is what they definitely were) stuck things into him, pulled at his skin and shone yellow lights into his eyes. They chattered above him in a guttural language he couldn’t hope to understand and they used the anal probe not once but twice, and it fucking hurt like a bitch.

Jared was crying; he wasn’t ashamed to admit it. Tears of pain, humiliation and frustration pouring down his cheeks. One of the aliens (Jensen although he didn’t know it at the time) extended a tentacled arm and stroked it, oily and sticky, over Jared’s face. It leaned over him like an unset jelly and squawked into his face. Jared might have felt more threatened but he was pretty sure that the alien was making a gesture of comfort and he found himself leaning into the slimy tentacle and closing his tired, sticky eyes.

The yellow light that sucked him up deposited him back down again. Naked, covered in fluid and completely out of his mind. The cops look on him in sympathy when they take him off to the hospital and only his mom and his boss’s glowing testimony to how sane and good he actually is stop him from ending up in the psyche ward.

****

The second time Jared meets Jensen (or whatever his name is) he is standing on his front porch watching the stars suspiciously and keeping his eyes open for any overly bright lights. He looks up momentarily and almost screams like a girl when he sees the green, wobbly creature at the bottom of his garden.

Two minutes later he is hiding behind his sofa, door locked, bolted and chained. He has his cell phone but fears calling anyone just in case they don’t believe his sanity claims this time. Outside he can hear the insistent squawking of his alien friend? , the slap, slap, slap of his tentacles against the door hardly reassuring.

Jared chooses to believe that the alien has come in peace but, despite his beliefs, he stays behind the sofa until the thing slithers away.

****

Jared is still sore and embarrassed by what has happened to him. He still works (he is pretty certain alien abduction isn’t grounds for sick leave) and he still visits family and friends. The newspapers leave him alone when he refuses to talk to them for the fifty-second time and he uses a rubber pregnancy cushion to sit on because – well – it hurts.

There are reports of strange lights in the sky and odd happenings all around the world. Jared remembers V and prays to God he isn’t expecting an alien baby. The other abductees contact him on Twitter or Facebook and they talk incessantly about their experiences.

Not one of them mentions a comforting tentacle though, and Jared can’t help but feel a little warm inside despite everything.

****

The third time Jared meets Jensen is in a bar exactly six months after the abduction. Jared is happy because he can now sit on his favorite stool and shoot the shit with whoever happens to be passing. Since the bright lights went away, tales of the aliens have faded into obscurity and Jared is happy that that part of his life seems to be over, brushed under the carpet, at least until some new weirdo comes seeking him out pretending to be a cheap version of Fox Mulder.

“Hi,” the man’s voice is as smooth as silk. “This stool taken?”

Jared turns to see the most beautiful man in the world (ever) take a seat right next to him. The man has eyes that are as green as emeralds, hair that is just the right side of red blond, cheekbones that you could die for and lips – well Jared doesn’t even want to think about the lips because, you know, parts of him are already getting interested.

“No man. Sit down, um, get settled. Can I . . . can I buy you a beer?”

“I believe the correct terminology is, Yes, you may,” the guy spoke like somebody who had just learned English and Jared couldn’t help but wonder where he had actually sprung from.

Jared turned to the bartender who was snickering quietly.

“Um, two beers please.” Jared ignored the guy’s amusement and slapped his money down on the counter.

The man next to him smiled at him so sweetly that his stomach practically melted as he pushed the beer over. The man stared at the bottle for the longest of time and Jared wondered if he had gotten a brand the man didn’t like.

“Hey.” He began taking a swallow of his own beer. “Do you want something else?”

The man shook his head and put the bottle to his lips swallowing tentatively at first and then with more gusto.

“This is very good beer,” he said to Jared with another bright smile. “When we are done with it I believe that my next suggestion would be that we go back to your place of habitation and have sexual intercourse.”

Jared spit his beer onto the bartender who didn’t seem to find that particularly amusing.

****

His house was only a few minutes from the bar and he dragged the beautiful man towards it with purpose. He wasn’t sure what was going to happen when they got inside but he had a fairly good idea. He wasn’t the sort of guy who slept around, in fact since coming out he had been looking, quite avidly, for that certain someone and had only ceased his search when alien abduction and painful probing put his plans somewhat on hold.

“Your house is as I recall it,” the man said as they approached.

“What?” Jared felt sure that he would have remembered this man if they had already met. This man was stunning and Jared would have recalled him drunk or sober.

“After we had taken you I attempted to contact you to say how sorry I was that we had hurt you. I liked you, and I wanted to keep you but they won’t let us keep any humans. My commander says it is because you would not live upon my planet.”

Jared’s mouth went dry and his ass clenched.

“You . . . ,” he began and frowned wondering if he had drunk way too much. “B-b-but . . . .”

“We have studied you long enough now to enable us to take your form. Please do not be alarmed (and wasn’t that a plea that landed on deaf ears as Jared just wanted to do what he always did in these situations and run for the hills), we are not doing this to walk among you and steal your resources.”

“You’re an alien.” It was a statement not a question and the man nodded, eyes a little sad.

“My name is J’ensennasenna and I come from Klarg 6, a planet so far from this solar system that it has taken us 10,000 of your years to get here.”

“Um.”

“My people have returned there and will not be coming back. I have chosen to stay.”

“You’ve chosen to stay?” Jared swallowed. “For me?” he added in a small rather insignificant voice.

“They hurt you and you leaked water from your eyes. I did not want to see you suffer so. I attempted to comfort you but it was difficult. When I came a second time my form offended you.”

“It doesn’t offend me now,” Jared couldn’t help but smile. He wasn’t hurting so much anymore and he was certainly comforted.

“I am sorry we probed you but it was necessary.”

Jared winced as he remembered the intense pain in his ass, the stabbing sensations in his arms, the pounding in his brain.

“From this I was able to read your thoughts and to see what sort of person you might love and be with for many Earth years.”

“Nice,” Jared said and maybe the pain was worth it after all.

“Can we now enter your habitation and have sexual relations?”

“Oh yeah.” Jared grinned then and he extended his hand. “But I’m gonna have to think of another name for you J’ensennasenna is a bit of a mouthful in Texas so maybe I’ll just call you Jensen.”

****

Another six months down the line and they are happy in their domestic bliss.

There are no more alien abductions reported and most of the newspapers and TV channels have found something else to write about (although Jared is convinced that all those little Fox Mulder types would be orgasmic if they knew about his alien). Jared’s parents come round every Sunday for a roast and his momma always goes on and on about how domestic Jensen is and how lucky Jared is to have found him.

If they were honest they had the best, how we met story ever but of course they tell the boring lie about how Jensen was Jared’s doctor and how after days of probing (and that is never not funny) he finally got to ask Jared out.

As for Jensen he had taken to earth life like a duck takes to water. He was a very quick learner (in everything from speech to sex) and he gave Jared hours and hours of endless pleasure. Jensen had been on earth too long to actually morph back into his true form but he can occasionally pop out his tentacles and Jared is extremely happy with that.

 

It is only when Jared starts feeling a little nauseous and has cravings for fish that he really starts to worry. He corners Jensen in the kitchen and demands an explanation.

“I am a fertile male,” Jensen beams. “And I have done my duty by you.”

“So what you actually mean is – um – shit – I’m pregnant?!” Jared’s terror swings back and forth between, what do I tell my parents to oh shit, I’m having something that looks like a cross between an octopus and a snail.

“Yes.” Jensen throws his arm around Jared’s shoulder and hugs him close. “but there is no need for you to concern yourself. Our offspring will be one of the human race with a few extra features.”

Jared huddles into that comforting embrace and sighs.

Should be an interesting nine months.

End


End file.
